we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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