so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
