sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
