one two three fourrrrnication!
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
