You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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