What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
