cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i came on her dog
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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