She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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