operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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