Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
