Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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