I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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