office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize