So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
