Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize