I hope mine doesn't look like that
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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