i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Randomize
