i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
