Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize