You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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