That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
