Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm determined to sit on that face.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
