its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
