That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
