she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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