Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
