Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
