Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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