i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize