Having a random hookup so left but love u
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
