omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
