when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
