return my video game
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
