I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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