lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
