When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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