at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I am never drinking with the goths again.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
