I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Randomize