When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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