Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
