This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
