Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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