Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
