Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
