he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize