she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
