if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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