I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
