nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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