I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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