As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
