"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
