are you so shy because you have an std?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize