I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
