How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
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