I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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