if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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