He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
