She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
