Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
