too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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