Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
