it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
