Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
