brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
