Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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