so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
