Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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