my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
